Are You OK with Domestic Violence?

The Campaign for Action on Family Violence in New Zealand has a message for Kiwis: family violence is not OK but is OK to ask for help. The campaign provides a wider brief than the White Ribbon Day focus on violence against women. Christchurch Presbyterian minister, the Rev Lapana Faletolu, says it’s not OK to look the other way and say it’s not our problem.

Lapana Faletolu in Domestic Violence poster It's Not OK

TV presenter Alison Mau says it’s not OK to make your kids feel worthless, just because you’ve had a bad day. Rugby presenter Phil Gifford says it’s not OK to teach your kids that violence is the way to get what you want. Aunty Mabel Wharekawa-Burt says it’s not OK to blame the drink.

Alison Mau in Domestic Violence poster
Phil Gifford in Domestic Violence poster
Aunty Mabel in Domestic Violence poster

The Are You OK Campaign

The Domestic Violence campaign, developed by the Taskforce for Action on Violence Within Families, is led by the Ministry of Social Development and the Families Commission, in association with communities, with support from ACC, the Ministry of Health and the New Zealand Police.

The campaign website,, contains information for people who are violent and people who influence them, as well as information for community engagement and for the media. An 0800 Family Violence Information Line (0800 456 450) provides self-help information and connects people to services where appropriate. It is available seven days a week, from 9am to 11pm, with an after-hours message redirecting callers in the case of an emergency.

The Campaign for Action on Family Violence was developed at DRAFTFCB, Auckland, by executive creative director James Mok, creative director Murray Watt, art director Dave Brady, copywriter Hayley Marks and agency producer Esther Watkins.

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    I have just had to endure that revolting tv add campaign its not ok, check out my blog, my poetry and lyrics will tell you the real story.

    This advert is just taking all the blame away from ‘the system’ and putting it back on people and the community (who don’t know how to deal with it.

    Since I was raped and the guy was found not guilty in 2002 my life/I disintigrated. At the time I was studying law at Victoria, I owned a Hire a Hubby franchise, etc, all gone.

    I havn’t worked in six years, I live destitute in a cold rental accommodation at 43 years old. With my two kids.

    When my treatment, care and rehabilitation were woefully inadequate and I could not get the help I was legally entitled to under ACC or Mental Health (in fact they made things much much worse), and I was begging repeatedly. It is worse because they were the people who were supposed to help me not persecute me, victimize me or discriminate against me!

    But they didn’t count on someone like me, you see the more dysfunctional I became the more I studied what was happening with me. I have a disorder called Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have a saying on my wall Knowledge is Power but Action is Vital.

    I studied everything I could about trauma, abuse, PTSD, rehabilitation, anthropology, psychology, sociology, health, journalism, mental health, the system of care for abused and traumatised people and of course ACC. I needed to know why things were so bad for people like me and I just have to fix it.

    What I discovered has seen me in a six year battle with ACC, Mental Health, Politicians, social agencies, DHB, the media, etc etc.

    Currently ACC are not providing abused and traumatised people with rehabilitation!!! If abused children are not getting rehabilitation then who’s fault is it if they go on to be abusive adults (eg the man who raped me). Please note Counselling IS NOT REHABILITATION!

    Nobody will take responsibility for this terrible injustice. Everybody puts their head in the sand.

    We shut down our mental health system until it is almost non-existent. We espouse the long term impacts of abuse on babies and children’s brains, and yet the mental health system treats these mentally injured people as if they have no value at all. We traumatise them more in foster care that is often rejection after rejection. Then at 17 we tell them to piss off and make their own life.

    Then if they become violent and destructive we punish them, we judge them and we usually put them in jail. Even Mental Health put violent people in jail – that is batant discrimination. I can assure you if Mental Health were doing their job, people would not get violent, they would not need to because they would be heard and treated with respect.

    I want to talk to those people in the advert, those average New Zealanders and tell them the truth. Those adverts are about the Government refusing to take responsibility for the mental health care of abused and traumatised people and blaming the entire community for violence.

    Please hear me, please give me a voice. If people got the mental health care they needed after trauma indiscriminate violence would be non-existent in our communities!!!!